Writing Wednesday: Using Narrative Closeness to Show

Good Morning everyone :)

I'd like to take just a moment to thank Jenny Siler for coming to my blog yesterday. If you didn't get a chance to visit with her, take a moment to follow the links in my previous blogpost to find out why she's one of my all time favorite authors! :)

(If you'd like to forward this exercise on to a writing group or forum, please feel free, just include my name and a link back--thanks!) Okay, now on with Writing Wednesday! :)

Today we’re going to have fun combining narrative closeness and show instead of tell. This is an interactive blog today, so either get a new fresh document opened up, or grab a pen and notepad.

There are myriad ways to go about this, but my process is very simple and I’ll share it with you here:

First: Know your character. Give them a voice and a style unique to them. For our purposes today, pick a character you’ve worked with extensively—or dream up a brand new one for a brand new project. If you choose the latter, pick a character in your gender and from a background you’re familiar with.

I’m going to use Kaylee Hensler, the 14yr. old skater girl from a small Wisconsin town.
(Write a similar statement)

Second: Know your elements. You don’t necessarily have to have been to the setting in person, but try to read first-hand accounts and find a way to relate what you have lived to the moment. Such as living in Houston gave me a great appreciation for tropical weather I might never have had if I’d never left Wisconsin. This gave me excellent fodder when I wrote the Knight Inc. series with settings from Panama to Brazil.

I’m going to use Barclay Hall, a fictional elite reformatory for wayward girls.
(Write a similar statement)

Third: Connect the dots. Between who the character is and where that character is, you’ll have to find your own sensory-related details to flesh out the moment. For our purposes today, don’t use a moment with a lot of dialogue. We want to focus on the difference between telling about the scene, and showing the scene using narrative closeness so it’s important to give yourself that room to explore outside of the dialogue. Pick the moment where the character’s who—meets the character’s experience.

I’m going to use Kaylee meeting Mary, the most popular girl for the first time.
(Write a similar statement)

Fourth: Know what’s important. Your character will find different things important than another character would. Depending on their vulnerabilities and the way they view themselves and the world, you’ll need pick those details that strengthen the character and their journey—as well as reveal more of the plot points.

I’m going to use Kaylee’s struggle to compete with her mother’s beauty and still maintain her tomboyish pursuits.
(Write a similar statement)

Now you should have a list that looks something like this:
Kaylee Hensler, the 14yr. old skater girl from a small Wisconsin town.
Barclay Hall, a fictional elite reformatory for wayward girls.
Kaylee meeting Mary, the most popular girl for the first time.
Kaylee’s struggle to compete with her mother’s beauty and still maintain her tomboyish pursuits.

This is the bare bones of your moment and what will define how it appears on the page:

Mary flipped shiny red curls over one shoulder and smiled, her perfect white teeth like some super diva from MTV’s Sweet Sixteen show. Kaylee smiled back, but didn’t reveal her totally human colored teeth. So okay, she just had to keep reminding herself that everyone at Barclay Hall was a criminal, even if they just came off the cover of Seventeen magazine. Where were the Avryl Lavignes and retro fans of The Ramones? Did everyone care more about painting their nails than committing to a wicked stunt no matter the risk—or was she already the freak here?

These details are specific to Kaylee—they reveal how aware she is of the pop culture she lives, her history and background, and her vulnerabilities. If you notice, though this paragraph is depicting how Mary looks, the only two details I offer are the color her teeth and hair. The rest describes the way she looks without actually sharing eye color, height, expected age—the sort of thing many new writers struggle to show, and veteran authors know is really pointless because the protagonist’s story is what the reader wants, not lists of details from the author, no matter how well written.

Post your list and resulting moment in the comments so we can all share the experience together! :)

Warmly,
Jenny:)
P.S. As I'm leaving in the morning to visit my father before I fly out Friday to LA, I'm going to be sporadic responding, but I *will* respond! ;)