Thursday, April 09, 2009

Doubtfire and Demons

(Imagine kindly old Mrs. Doubtfire, sitting in her chair by the fire, a nice big book in her manly lap.)

Good morning boys and girls, today we're going to discuss the finer points of DE-mon PO-ssess-ion! Yes indeedy! Nothing finer on an April morn than a good ol' fashioned tale of...


Now isn't she a lovely lass? Yes, this lovely demon traveled the world, jet setting from one birthing mother to another to deliver her wicked brand of good ol' demon fun. Oh my, yes. Let's not forget either, her bloodlust for children of any age, including those that had yet to be spanked by the good doctor in the delivery room.

When she isn't busy keeping the fine funeral vendors rolling in the green, she enjoys long walks through rivers and lakes, turning them to cesspools of disgusting disease. For a nice dinner, Lamashtu enjoys a splendid young man paired with fine red blood. To finish off her feast, she often chooses a serving of death and disease.

Back in her girlhood, Lamashtu's father, Anu--a very respected sun god from Mesopotamia--said early on that his young daughter was beyond control. She was the original rebel, doing as she pleased without the blessings of the gods. As you can imagine, this did not suit them well at all.

And do you know what the gods did, boys and girls?

Why they sent their fierce warrior Pazuzu to protect women and children. (I imagine they believed young men could take care of themselves, though I wouldn't want a boy of mine to cross such a heinous lady as Lamashtu!) Poor Pazuzu was saddled with the burden of bringing drought and famine. Perhaps this was a means of filtering out frivolous summonings from mankind.

Of course there was that dreadfully frightening movie "The Exorcist" where dear Pazuzu was cast as a possessor of children. Imagine how offensive that must have been. All these centuries protecting our young only to be cast as a nefarious villain? For shame.

Now let me read to you this lovely passage:

Great is the daughter of Heaven who tortures babies
Her hand is a net, her embrace is death
She is cruel, raging, angry, predatory
A runner, a thief is the daughter of Heaven
She touches the bellies of women in labor
She pulls out the pregnant women’s baby
The daughter of Heaven is one of the Gods, her brothers
With no child of her own.
Her head is a lion’s head
Her body is a donkey’s body
She roars like a lion
She constantly howls like a demon-dog.

Wonderful, isn't it? This is a Mesopotamian incantation against Lamashtu. Remember this should you happen across her as she travels the world. I hear she'll be at by Barclay Hall, a very respectable reformatory school for young ladies. (A fitting destination for the original lady rebel!) I understand Kaylee Hensler is being sent there for vandalism--in a graveyard on Halloween no less. Do join me in praying for Kaylee's soul. She will need every good wish we can send her. (Crime never pays!)

That brings us to the end of our story hour this fine Thursday. I hope you enjoyed this thrilling tale and learned a thing or two about Lamashtu!


Details brought to you courtesy of Wikipedia


Mary Cunningham said...

Oh, creepy, Jenny!! I love the Mrs. Doubtfire "voice!" I can just hear "her."


J.R. Turner said...

LOL! :) I was hoping so. It was a ton of fun to "channel" her and I think it's a great follow-up to yessterday's post in a way! :)

Thanks for commenting Mary :)