Thursday, January 13, 2011
Ever have a guilty conscience? I do, and it's keeping me up late at night. Maybe confessing this will help shake the little demon loose from my brain and I'll be able to get some sleep.
I promised a boatload of people I would send them copies of some of my mom's artwork, poems, musing, and other things. I printed everything off, made sure I had enough copies of each, sorted the pages by person, and then there they sit--unsent since August. Just sitting there like a great big fat elephant pointing it's trunk at me and going "tsk, tsk, tsk."
Essentially, this is the very last thing I have yet to do concerning my mom's death. When I'm finished with that, there's nothing left to do. And yet, as much as I want to move on (seriously, no one really evern chooses to grieve) I can't seem to bring myself to "finish" with her things. I miss her too much.
I know people, very generous, kind people who rallied and supported me when I needed them, are waiting patiently for their packages. I'm just so *stuck* in this place I'm not happy in, but moving forward is even worse.
Guess I'll suck it up and deal with it. Everyone has to, right?
(Excuse typos and such on this blogpost. I'm going on one hour of sleep and my eyes are crossing ;) )